Breeze in the reeds

Dongyu continuous, Xing's due, I returned to Houston on this is located in the urban centers of stars grams coffee bar. This is what I had cancer in chemotherapy during the relatively good health, the daughter of Yue will take me to small sitting place of the moment. Two years is a blink of an eye, this is my life an unforgettable station. 

Station in life 

I love light, regardless of the where, the total like sitting. This sort of a small coffee shop, located in a building floor, in the City that the downtown buildings, can be regarded as exceptional. Probably because he is not sure if it is still three at the end of tomorrow's cancer patients; also may be subject to the surrounding buildings and majestic stands of gas by the flu, often stare blankly at the window, when issued, and consciously small, it could not have the majestic and tranquil. Consciously insignificant because a flash of life, as if we should come to an end; and was shocked by the magnificent sense of tranquility, because the hearts of the source of flowing water have eternal life. 

After this "cancer patients", it seems that life has just begun the true pedicle glimpse 12. I often joked with my friends said: "This is what comes homework." 

Coffee shop's window has a small square, a few of the tables and chairs for outdoor rest. I remember the time When the weather is good, and occasionally it was sitting, or look book, listen to music, or stare blankly fat also may be thought a moment. I am often curious about their background, is already aware of quiet, to himself in trouble busy lives, leaving room for a moment thinking; also, or, like me, sick Defu, the sick were forced to closed, Xiu-Xin Yang. 

Place the small piece of the edge of the reed has one, must have garden designers deliberately careful arrangements to make living in the city is busy annoying people, but also from time to time to accept the baptism of the simplicity of nature. 

"God's things, people can know, the original Xianming in human hearts." Thank God, let me have the opportunity in the disease in the hearts of the Shan Shan 1 dust, seems to have recovered some lost time that the bright and clean. 

Faced with the end of life 

People often ask me, will not because my husband and I are professionals in the treatment of cancer, and now his own cancer, I am able to calmly deal with. It was often thought that I must find cancer very early, because my husband is a cancer specialist, I have a doctorate in nursing. In fact, the contrary, precisely because of our expertise, to better understand the terrible cancer. 

In general, ovarian cancer was diagnosed when already so much like grapefruit. I was totally not feeling too small, less than palpation also touch Moreover, my blood CA-125 index is 21, in the normal range. At that time, all the doctors I have seen all do not think it could be ovarian cancer. 

Remember physical examination from the beginning until the surgery, only a short span of two weeks. Wake up from anesthesia, the husband told me that really is ovarian cancer. Pressed me under again but told me: "cancer cells spread to the Cul-De-Sac (pelvis at the end of the subdural cavity), such as sesame seeds 2 small, has the entire film was removed." Under a heart All of a sudden cold half. Her daughter later told me: "Dad was very sad, I cry a." Though disappointed, but then quickly calm down, thinking okay, even if it is the second phase, to keep alive the hope of a great deal of , not to mention a clean-cut doctor said. 

The next ten days is a long wait. Time of referral to see identification of the final pathology report, is soul-stirring. I was the worst of the cancer cells (poorly differenciated), the highest aggressive (high grade), is also confused with the worst cancer transparent (Clear Cell component); Not only that, under the microscope to identify the right ovarian cancer has been shifted to the left looks completely normal ovary, the left side of the outer membrane of the uterus also has cancer, peritoneal wash saline also full of cancer cells; To make matters worse, next to appear completely normal lumbar lymph nodes (lymph node) also has cancer cells. 

Leighton time, Descent, heart sank, as if pushed into the sea. Thank God, reminds me a Bible verse, Psalm of David Lane: "His hand to seize the day from a high-me, me from the big water FORT HOOD, Texas ... ... He also lead me to the broad areas." God has promoted me, thanks give me eternal life, what do I fear? "I relied on Naga gives me strength Lord, everything can be made." Poisoning deaths hook I can not cope. 

Willing to work with the reed dance in the rain 

3 weeks after surgery and began the first chemotherapy. Then once every three weeks, seven months to do a total of nine treatments. Not only the hair, eyebrows, eyelashes all drop,nausea, fatigue Hard, wound pain, abdominal cramps, headache, body pain in the bones, but also the first molar bite; the most painful is the hands and feet due to peripheral nerve chemotherapy drugs side effects, burning sensation was like attacks by a group of fire ants. Also some cases, the body fight the cold, restless hands and feet. 

Tunnel at the time, the memories of that day of chemotherapy, can not help think of God's promise: "Your days of how you how the force will." 

Disease after the first Christmas is in a wheelchair, the second Christmas has long hair an inch long, while the third just after Christmas, I was and Kenneth Dayton Chinese Church Church Choir brothers and sisters sing along with the United States poem spent. Although my toe is still numb, but a lot of progress, no longer have tingling, Xian poetry, they can stand firm, stand a long time; dry mouth and headache sequelae are also greatly improved. 

Choir take part in the future, but also started to learn play the piano, from before Thanksgiving to now, has learned three months. From a young age and I grew up with siblings who have the feeling that the incredible, because I have always been there is no music cells. My husband often said that I like a newborn child. Thank God, in His grace for the crown of age, so that the path I have drip. 

Today, particularly the wind, and light rain, a coffee shop square in the reeds swaying in the wind and rain, the rain seemed to be the weight of pressure to, crumbling; but in between the opportunity to rise rapidly. The greater the wind, the more crazy dancing, crazy sense of both the Sophie also made me fascinated, and would like to reed dance in the rain, the more dances will be able to realize that the rhythm of wind, then rain sound, and that riding in the foot the pulse of the earth. 

God, I thank you! Crushed reed, you are not broken; the residue of lights, you do not blew out. You gave me spirituality, so I go along in life, do not become discouraged and do not fear, and the effort to have this life.